RDF to XMLP Report Conversion Continued...

Here I am once again, with small sack of information on RDF Repot to XMLP Report Conversion.

This time, there are no high fundas. This article will contain a step-by-step explanation of the entire conversion procedure with examples and screenshots.

Prerequisites:

1) You have a perfectly working RDF report that is registered as a Concurrent Program

2) You have all the required responsibilities to create a concurrent program and also the XML Publisher Responsibility to register the data definition and templates.

3) You have some basic idea of XML and XSLT. If not, you can refer the w3schools site:

http://www.w3schools.com/xml/default.asp and http://www.w3schools.com/Xsl/default.asp

4) You have the required utility in your MS Word that facilitates the creation of RTF Template.

If not, you can download it from

http://bipublisher.us.oracle.com/?tab=release&header=xdorel&side=enterprise10

Ok, so lets get started.

I shall convert the BR vacation report which is in RDF to the XMLP Report.

1) Copy the existing CP to create a new CP with relevant short_name, executable as XDODTEXE which is a Java Concurrent Program that will read the XML data Definition and execute the query in it to generate the desired output and output format as 'XML' as shown below:

2) While defining the parameters, make sure you are passing the token value.

Two Points to note here are :
1. The short name of the registered CP should be exactly same as the code name of the data definition .

2. The token passed should exactly match the parameter name defined in the data definition. Both should be in the same case.

3) Now we shall create the data definition. Here is the data definition xml file for your reference:
So that's the data definition xml that you can use as sample.

As you can see, in the xml data definition,

1.We first declare the version and the encoding which is by default UTF-8. '

2.Then we give a name to the data definition followed by the names of the corresponding pl/sql
package name the data definition refers so as to derive the values of the formula columns or
pl/sql logic for the report triggers etc.

3. Then comes the property tag that specifies the case of the xml tags here. We can declare other
properties too in this segment if we want and we may even totally avoid this segment.

4. Then comes the parameter segment where we declare the parameters that we would we
passing through our CP. The case and name of the parameter should exactly match the token
we pass while declaring the parameters.

5. Followed by the parameter is the sql query which is essentially same as the sql query in the
RDF report. But any formula columns that we calculate in separate program unit inn the RDF
report, has to be calculated here , in this query section in xml report. For such calculations, we
can directly refer the packaged functions or procedures. For eg : If we want a formula column
CF_Employee_age. Then we can write the pl/sql logic of calculating the age of an employee in
the packaged function MISPER_BR_VABAL.age. he logic here will be same as the logic in the
RDF program unit for CF_Employee age but here we write it in tha packaged function and call
it the query section as select ...., MISPER_BR_VABAL(p_employee_date_of_birth)
CF_Employee_age .....from ....., where...... ( Assuming p_employee_date_of_birth is one of our
user parameters declared in the parameter section or some column of any table.

Here , an important point to note is that, if the packaged function internally calls any other function that uses any DML, DDL, or TCL on any temporary table then we might get an error. This is because, here we are calling the function from a sql statement and functions performing DML, DDL or TCL are not allowed to be called from sql statement. In such cases, we might have to declare the DML, DDL or TCL performing function as PRAGMA AUTONOMOUS_TRANSACTION so that it is executed as an independent program unit.

6. After the query section, we declare the report triggers which again have their code wriiten in packaged functions or procedures.

7. In the data structure portion, we first write the grouping information followed by the element names. If we have any summary columns, we declare them here. For eg :

Here, we declare two summary columns and one formula column.

4) Once this much is done , we register the data definition through the xml publisher Administrator responsibility as shown below :
As mentioned earlier, the code name should be same as the CP short name. That is how the executable identifies the data definition corresponding to a CP.

5) Now, we need to create the RTF template. For this we will first run the CP and save the output as the xml file. Then we shall open MS Word and load the XML file using the Oracle BI Utility as mentioned in teh Prerequisites. Following this we shall add the data fields as required on the RTF file and save it. Here is a sample RTF File :
6) The data fields generally have a structure like this:
7) In the 'Add Help Text' , we write the actual data tag or any formatting trigger in XSLT that is to be picked from the output XML. The default text is just a place holder for the actual data and can be written as anything. For example, we want to display a particular layout only if the value of a particular parameter is 'N' then, in XSLT the condition can be written as follows:
8) Ok, now once we have the RTF template ready, we need to check if this is fine. For doing so, we load the XML output obtained earlier in step 5) and then check the preview in pdf or html or excel or text. If this is ok and we are satisfied with the output, then we register the template.

9) For registering, we again go to the XML Publisher Administrator Responsibility, and the go to Template Definition and register the template as follows:
10) Now, we have the CP, the data definition as well as the RTF template in place.

Our steps our almost done. Now we only need to run the CP and check the output.

OK, one important point, while declaring the CP Parameters, you need to declare one additional parameter DebugFlag only for test purposes as follows:
This is just to debug the report in case we are getting errors. You can set this to 'N' in case you don't want it and you can also remove this once everything is working fine. Remember, you do not need to declare this parameter in the data definition or in the packages or anywhere else . The CP executable XDODTEXE knows how to handle this.

11) Just for you reference, I am pasting the codes of a sample package spec and package body:
This is the MISPER_BR_VABALS.pls and below is the pkg body MISPER_BR_VABALB.pls:
So that completes all the components of the XML report.

Just a reminder : Before running the CP at step 5), make sure that you have compiled the pkg spec and pkg body on the same instance where you are submitting the CP.

Thisn completes the entire RDF to XML Conversion process.

I shall try to discuss some common errors we face and the troubleshooting that requires to be done in my next blog.
Till then , do try this out and let me know how it works. Hope this helps everyone who reads it and surely me so that I donot forget the steps.

Ok, then, its too late for me already 8:30pm and I am still in office. I got to go. Bbye and take care.

Oracle RDF Report to XML Publisher Report

Nowadays I am working in a project that requires few existing RDF reports to be converted to XML Reports. So I thought of sharing the little knowledge that I have gained while working on this project.

First question that would come to anyone's mind is :
Why do we need to convert RDF eports to XML?

Successful migration of RDF report to BI Publisher will allow the customer to take avantage of the many benefits found in BI Publisher including:

• · Access to heterogeneous databases
• · Zero footprint, fully web based architecture
• · Low cost of setup and Administration
• · Simple reports development and low cost of reports maintenance
• · Wide range of delivery support (Printer, Fax, Email, WebDAV, FTP/HTTP)
• · Multi-language support
• · Performance improvement
• · Improved Scheduling functionality
• · Data Caching
• · Security enhancements

Oracle XML Publisher is a template-based publishing solution delivered with the Oracle E-Business Suite. It provides a new approach to report design and publishing by integrating familiar desktop word processing tools with existing E-Business Suite data reporting. XML Publisher leverages standard, well-known technologies and tools, so you can rapidly develop and maintain custom report formats.

The flexibility of XML Publisher is a result of the separation of the presentation of the report from its data structure. The collection of the data is still handled by the E-Business Suite, but now you can design and control how the report outputs will be presented in separate template files. At runtime, XML Publisher merges your designed template files with the report data to create a variety of outputs to meet a variety of business needs, including:

• • Customer-ready PDF documents, such as financial statements, marketing materials, contracts, invoices, and purchase orders utilizing colors, images, font styles, headers and footers, and many other formatting and design options.
• • HTML output for optimum online viewing.
• • Excel output to create a spreadsheet of your report data.
• • "Filled-out" third-party provided PDF documents. You can download a PDF document, such as a government form, to use as a template for your report. At runtime, the data and template produce a "filled-out" form.
• • Flat text files to exchange with business partners for EDI and EFT transmission.

So now we know the advantages of converting the RDF to XML Publisher report. But how do we go about it?
What are the steps involved in the RDF to XMLP report Conversion Process?

The overall flow can be diagrammatically represented by the following figure:

Pre-Requisites

The migration APIs accept an Oracle Report in XML Format, this format is only supported in Oracle Reports 9i and above. Therefore you need to have a 9i+ version of Oracle Reports available. For R12 the Oracle Reports version in the techstack is 10.1.3 so the conversion to RDF XML is straightforward. For Release 11i the version is 6i, so you will need a higher version of Oracle Reports available somewhere on your system.

To get the Oracle Report in XML format from rdf format, either use Oracle Report Designer or Oracle Report rwconverter.exe utility under $ORACLE_HOME/bin

Example
D:\Oracle_home\BIN>rwconverter batch=yes source= h:\reports\brvac.rdf dest= h:\reports\brvac.xml dtype=xmlfile overwrite=yes

This will convert the binary RDF file into an RDF-XML format that can then be consumed by the conversion APIs.

This looks confusing isn't it.
What are the exact steps involved that we need to perform?

1.Data Model Migration

Use DataTemplateGenerator API to migrate the Oracle Reports Data Model to a DataTemplate and associated PL/SQL logic to PL/SQL Package (specification and body).

The API can be called through the command line or through a shell script. This will generate following output files:

• DataTemplate (REPORT.xml)
• Default PL/SQL package specification (REPORTS.pls)
• Default PL/SQL package body (REPORTB.pls)

Example :
javaw.exe oracle.apps.xdo.rdfparser.DataTemplateGenerator H:\report\brvac.xml

Output files:

1. PL/SQL Package:H:\ report\brvacS.pls
2. PL/SQL Body:H:\report\brvacB.pls
3. DataTemplate:H:\report\brvac_template.xml

2. Layout Migration

Use RTFTemplateGenerator API to migrate the Oracle Reports layout to an XML Publisher RTF template.

Since there is no support of PL/SQL in RTF Template, the process does not migrate any format trigger logic present in the report. Instead the generator writes all the format trigger code to log file. You will need to implement any corresponding PL/SQL logic as XSL code. The majority of Oracle Reports use simple ‘if’ formatting logic that can be converted relatively easily. To aid in this process, the resulting RTF template will contain formfields that hold the format trigger names that are called, these fields will be highlighted in red. You can then refer to the log to find the actual PL/SQL code used in the original Oracle Report.

The API can be called through the command line or through a shell script. This will generate following output files:

• RTF Template
• Log file

Example :
javaw.exe oracle.apps.xdo.rdfparser.RTFTemplateGenerator H:\report\brvac.xml

Output files:

1. RTF Template: H:\ report\ brvac.rtf
2. Log File : H:\report\brvac.log

Does that mean, these two steps exactly converts the RDF to the required XMLP report without hassles?

No, its not really that simple though it is not tough either. There are some open issues that we need to take care of. Here are they:

Known Issues:

1. Some times, because of complexity of Oracle Report the, Data Template or PL/SQL has some minor errors and requires manual correction.
2. Format triggers are not supported. The format trigger logic should be implemented separately though XSLT
3. If formula column reference the summary column as parameter and the summary column belongs to same Data Source/Data Query, this implementation is not supported in Data Template. This is because of all the formula columns moved to select statement and the summary column value is not available while executing the formula.

So can we have a complete example with sample data definition and template files?
Surely, we can have a complete example with required data definition and template file.
But not today or else I would be breaching the confidentiality agreement of my company. Because as of now I only have the reports on which I have worked as a part of the project. These are company exclusive. Very shortly, I shall create a rather simple report easy to understand for beginners and not related to the company I am working for. Then I shall upload the sample data definition and template files with all required screenshots and outputs.

Till then, bye bye and have a nice day.

Adventures

Life is full of strange surprises , some pleasant, some adventurous , some wild. And then there are people who are not satisfied with the adventurous experiences that life offers and want to add extra adventure to their lives. To some extent its fun. But again, there are people who are not satisfied unless they try the extreme and that is what this story revolves around.

Read On...

Life's Adventures Vs Adventurer's Life

Saleem, his wife Mehtaab and their little son Mubarak lived in a small hut very close to the sea shore in Orissa. By profession, Saleem was a fisherman who used to go out every morning rowing his boat into the mid sea and return in the evenings with as many fishes as he could manage. They could not afford a luxurious life but were happy with whatever they had.

Little Mubaarak was only 2 years old and the couple spent most of its time planning for Mubaarak's future. They used to save each penny of their earnings for Mubaarak. Saleem and Mehtaab were illiterate but they wanted to educate their only son and wanted him to become a doctor. Parents often want to see their children fulfilling their own dreams. Saleem's father was also a fisherman but he died after being stung by a poisonous aquatic creature. The poison was not very strong and he could have been saved only if their village had a doctor. But the nearest hospital was at a distance which had to be covered over a minimum of 5 hours in the locally available public transport. His father could not fight death that long and passed away on the way to the hospital. Since then, Saleem dreamt of making his son a doctor and Mehtaab supported him too. They used to sacrifice every small and big pleasure of their life and save money and they had been doing this since they got married. So the plans, expectations and dreams were all set for Mubaarak even before he came to his earthly existence.

Mubaarak, right from his birth, was a very naughty child. He had a tendency to do the forbidden.
He would try to reach things that were intensionally kept beyond his reach, he would try to taste things that he was not supposed to, he would try to do things that he knew his parents would not allow him to do. As he grew up, his interest towards things which commonly people would avoid, grew more and more intense.

Being born to a fisherman's family, he was an expert swimmer. Once he heard some villagers discussing that there was this cursed well into which many had fallen and died and that it has now been guarded by an iron wire so that no one can get too close. He immediately knew what he had to do next. He informed all his friends and acqaintances that he was going to jump into the well and come out of it that night. Every body tried to convince him not to do so but he was not one of those who would try to listen and understand what others say. He wanted to be the hero of the village and so he did what he had decided. As soon as his parents went off to sleep, he slipped out of his blanket and managed to come out of the house hiding in the darkness. He reached the place where the well was and he could see all his friends had accumulated to see his so called bravery. He crossed the iron wire and turned towards his friends one last time before jumping into the death well. Then he turned towards the well, closed his eyes and prayed to God. He was also afraid within, but the thought of becoming a hero in the village was so strong that it overcame his fear and there he was, all set to jump into the well. Ready, Steady an GO and splash came a sound from inside the well. All his friends of his age, 10-12 years, immediately ran from the place to inform the villagers. Within minutes the whole village was there standing beside the well and trying to pull him out. His unfortunate parents were also there. Saleem was almost ready to jump into the well himself to either save his son or die himself. Mehtaab was crying her heart out. They could not see their only son, their dream, their expectations, their life , their hope , everything drowning into the well. Just then they heard a noise from inside the well. They held the lantern to throw some light into the well so as to see what it was and they could see the smiling face of Mubaarak, fully drenched, climbing up the walls of the well. People tried to help him out with ropes and buckets but he didnot accept any help lest his bravery would not get all credit he thought he deserved for this action of his.

Finally, he was out of the well, standing there with his head held high in pride and satisfaction for having accomplished something he thought so great. And there right in front of him , was his father Saleem and mother Mehtaab, scared to death for the fear of losing their only son and the only ray of hope in their lives for whom they have been sacrificing every bit of thing they could to bring him up in the best possible way. But Mubaarak was so overwhelmed by his accomplishment that he didn't even realise what hell his perents went through in the last couple of minutes. He achieved what he wanted. All his friends thought he was the hero of the village. They began to look upto him as if he was their God. Mubaarak enjoyed all this attention and importance and kept doing such things which everyone else was either afraid to do or not allowed to do. This nature of his became stronger and stronger with time and by the time he was a 16 years old boy studying in the city high school, about 35 kms away from his village, inviting adventures became a habit he could not resist.

As soon as, he joined the city high school, he was eager to stay in Hostel. He gave several excuses to his poor illiterate parents like he would be able to do joint study and would be able to access the school library even at night. His parents also thought that travelling to school up and down everyday, laeves him too tired to study, so its better for his carrer to move to the school hostel. Though the hostel fees was much more than what any fisherman like Saleem could afford , but all their savings of their lives helped them accomodate the extra costs. They were ready to do anything to get their son the best possible education they could afford.

Thus, Mubaarak started staying in the hostel and used to visit home only in the weekends.

One weekend, he informed his parents that he was going on an excursion and would not be able to come home. He had lied. He was going out with his friends to satisfy his hunger for adventure.
The Weather guys had informed a day earlier that there is a threat of cyclone in the mid sea and that all fishermen and sailors should avoid the sea for the day. That's when Mubaarak decided to conquer the sea. He and his friends went to the shore that was closest to the city. They managed a boat somehow and then they were all set to sail. At the last moment , one by one all of Mubaarak's friends backed out. Mubaarak hated such show of fear and cowardice. He got angry and decided to sail all alone. His friends tried to convince him against going into the sea but Mubaarak had a hitler's mind. Once decided, he would not and he could not back out.

He sat on the boat, cut the rope and started rowing. He looked behind just once to say goood bye to his friends and made a mockery of them for they were scared of the cyclone whereas he was not. His friends only kept praying for him and kept shouting for him to come back. They were calling him as long as he was visible. But the mighty waves of the cyclonic sea took him out of sight pretty soon.

Mubaarak's friends waited for him to come back till the evening but as it grew dark and the waves went higher and higher, they came back to their school. Till late night when Mubaarak didn't return, they decided to inform the school authorities and his parents and so they did. By the time Saleem got the news, it was early morning of the next day. He immediately rushed towards his boat to get it ready to sail through the sea and search for his son. Mehtaab tried to stop him many times, but he was a mad man then. He could think nothing. He only knew that his son was in trouble and he had to save him. He went out into the sea. Mehtaab was waiting in the shore all day, without food without water awaiting her husband and son. In the evening she could see her husband returning. She outstreched her hands in anticipation of her son too. But as Saleem's boat came closer , she realized that Saleem was alone. Upon reaching the shore, Saleem could not utter a word. He only hugged Mehtaab tightly and broke down into tears. Mehtaab knew her son was lost in the sea and perhaps would never come back again. Even if he survives the untamed sea and the cyclone, he would not survive the hunger and the thrist , and even if he manages to survive that, he would probably serve as the fishes' food. With Mubaarak, all their hopes, their dreams, their expectations, their only reason for survival was lost. The cost of Mubaarak's adventure invitations was paid by Saleem and Mehtaab who were left behind to grow old without anyone to support them and nothing to look forward to.

Many years later, a tourist family had come to visit the fishing shore in Orissa and there was a young boy in the family. The boy was very excited to see such a huge endless water body. He was trying to break free of his mother's hold and rush towards the sea. An old man with wrinkled face and torn clothes was sitting nearby observing the boy. He stood up with great difficulty because of his old age and body ache and went close to the boy. The boy was a little scared to see him at first and so was his mother. The old man gently kept his hand on the boy's head and said, " Life is already full of adventures, you do not need to invite them.". Just then , an equally old lady came shouting " Saleem! Saleem!, Where are you? " . "Here I am, Mehtaab" , said the old man and walked away. The little boy and his mother kept staring at the old man as he limped his way towards the old lady standing at a distance, wrapped in a black shawl. Saleem's dry eyes and shaky voice had told them a story they were still trying to comprehend.

Basic Organ Functionality

After Nutririon, Strength, Flexibility and Calories, its time to discuss the last topic on health basics that I had committed , that is Basic Organ Functionality.



Here I shall discuss some common and uncommon tips to keep some of our vital organs in good health.



Heart

What does it do?

Pumps in carbon-di-oxide rich blood from the body and sends it to lungs, and receives oxygen rich blood from lungs and pumps it out to the whole body.



How to keep it healthy?

1) By taking low calory (especially low in cholesterol and triglycerides) food

2) By doing regular exercise like aerobics with intense exercise intermittently alternating with light exercise , followed by a complete cool down



Lungs

What does it do?

Takes the oxygen we inhale and mixes it with the impure(carbon-di-oxide rich) blood, extracts the carbon-di-oxide from it to purify it and then sends the pure(oxygen rich) blood to the heart to get it pumped to the whole body while giving out the carbon-di-oxide through the wind pipe (trachea) for us to exhale.



How to keep it healthy?

1) By practising various breathing exercises

2) By trying to spend some time of each day in an oxygen rich surrounding (full of greenery) to inhale fresh oxygen rich air through deep breathing

Eyes

What does the pair of eyes do?

Well, we all know what they do.

How to keep it in good health?

1) Blink : They cleanse the eyes

2) Avoid rubbing eyes especially when hands or fingers are not clean to avoid eye infections like conjunctivitis

3) Eat a lot of VitA rich food (eg : Carrot, Papaya etc)

4) Practise some common eye exercises like focussing at a distant object for some time and then changing the focus to a nearby object. The change in focus should be slow at times and abrupt at times. This exercise strengthens the muscles holding the eye lens and thereby prevents their loosening. This helps us prevent developing common eye problems like myopia or hypermetropia (near-sightedness , far sightedness)

5) If possible, try spending sometime of each day focussing on greenery, any green plant or a distant green hill etc. Natural Green soothes the eye

6) Avoid looking at the TV screen or computer screens for long durations without break or from a very close distance

7) Keep a minimum distance between the eyes and the book when you are reading or writing

For healthy muscles and joints , regular exercise involving joint movements and muscle toning, strssing and then stretching and relaxing is a must.

Don't be surprised , if I say that regular exercise is good for skin too. Yes, its true. Wprk out regularly for few months and you will not miss the glow in your skin. But yes, that will happen, only when you otherwise keep you skin clean by washing it with a gentle face wash at least twice a day and apply a mild moisturiser at least once a day. When we work hard and sweat, it cleans the pores in the skin. Wash the sweaty face after exercise to keep it clean.

For patients of migraine like me, who get migraine attack any time, regular exercise is a must to keep such attacks in check. Migraine usually happens due to lack of a chemical substance called seratonin. Exercise helps secreate this chamical thereby reducing the severity of migraine and the frequency of the attacks.

Well, that's all for now. Whenever I get any more such information that might be useful, I would share the same. Till then, you take care of all your body organs and let me think about what my next topic should be. Any suggestions.....

Nutrition->Strength->Flexibility->Calories

Ok, so we finally reached the topic of discussion which has been quite hot in the past few years.

So hot a topic that information on this is abundantly available on numerous websites,books and magazines.



I therefore don't think, I have much to write about this.

But yes, one Mul Mantra ( main tip) that I would like to share is that

"Start following an exercise and dietary regime that you are confident you can stick to, atleast untill you are 50, if not till the end of your life"



Why so?

You must have heard the term 'metabolism'.



What is metabolism?

Biologically ,

Metabolism = Anabolism ( build up) + Catabolism (breakdown).

In simple english, metabolism defines the whole process involved in the breakdown of food for the generation of energy in our body.



The rate at which metabolism occurs is called metabolic rate. A person with high metabolic rate has less tendency of developing excess body fat than someone with low metabolic rate. This is obviously because, high metabolic rate ensures that most of the food consumed is immediately broken down to release energy whereas low metabolic rate does the same thing rather slowly and in turn assists the process of fat deposition in the body. Excess food, when not broken down to give energy, is stored in the body as future food reserve known as Body Fat.



For those having a low metabolic rate, it is important to put extra efforts to increase their metabolic rate. Different forms of exercise or physical activity increases the metabolic rate.

When we work hard, the body loses energy or it uses energy to work hard.

This creates a high demand for energy in the body to make up the energy deficit.In order to replenish the loss of energy as fast as possible, the body demands more and more energy in less and less time. This leads to a quick breakdown of the blood glucose to release energy which in turn reduces the glucose level in the blood. To maintain the normal glucose level,therefore, the consumed complex food is quickly broken down to the simplest form (blood glucose) This entire chain of activity ensures a high metabolic rate (rate of breakdown of consumed food to release energy).

So this is clear that to avoid fat deposition in the body, we need to do a lot of physical activity to maintain a high metabolic rate.

Secondly, eating less also helps in avoiding body fat accumulation.

How?

When we eat less, and the amount we eat is just enough to meet the energy demand of the body then the whole amount of food consumed is broken down in blood glucose and finally used up to release energy. There is no extra reserve for future use so no body fat. When we eat more, part of it is used up depending on body demand for energy and the rest is stored as body fat.

So if we want to maintain a natural balance, the we need to eat just as much as we know we can burn out by our physical activity. This will ensure that we do not put on extra weight.

But this is not enough to lose weight. For losing teh already accumulated body fat, we need to maintain a negative balance in the body.

How?

By losing more calories and consuming less calories. When we eat less and our bosy doesn't have enough energy to compenmsate what we are losing by working out hard, then the body uses the stored fats to provide us with the required energy. In the process we lose the stored body fat and hence the weight.

Body adapts

Now what is that? What does body adapt to?

Ok, so here is the reply. Read on...

Once we start eating less, the body adapts to this. It knows that it is going to get this much (less) amount of food only and therefore it tunes the process to survive with less energy so that it can store some for future use. Net result : The body starts accumulating fat even when you are eating less. But this rate of accumulation is very slow, as long as you are eating less. The day you return back to your original amount or even increase the diet marginally, its a feast for the body and it starts storing the entire extra amount because now it is used to burning that little amount of food only. It has lowered down its metabolic rate to adapt to the low food intake and now when the intake is increased , the metabolic rate is still low thereby increasing the chance of gaining weight.

Same is the case with exercise. As long as you continue, its fine but the day you stop or even reduce the vigour of the exercise you have done so far, you start gaining even more weight at a higher rate than the rate at which you were gaining weight before you started working out.

What does this mean?

Obviously, this doesn't mean that you should not work out at all or should never reduce your diet.

This only means that, once reduced, do not try to increase your diet or once exercise started , do not reduce the amount of exercise you do. That's why from the very beginning, start a regime that you can strictly follow.

Dont's

Do not become desperate for a weight loss and start doing exercise heavily unless you are sure you are going to continue doing so for the rest of your life. Working out hard for 3 months and stopping that or reducing that is worse than not working out at all , as far as weight loss is concerned.

Do not become desperate and start a severe diet control that you can not stick to for the rest of your life. Eating huge amounts regularly is not as bad as reducing your diet for 6 months and then increasing it again.

Do's

Always go for a normal exercise regime that you can follow for your life.

By normal exercise regime ,I mean 40 minutes of heavy (calorie burning , cardio types) exercise and 20 minutes of relaxation, stretching and breathing exercises at least 5 days a week for an otherwise sedentary worker.

Always have a balanced diet , with low fat content and more of fibre like oats. Start a routine that you can forever stick to.

Conclusion:

What that routine should be can be decided by every individual based on your body tendency, structure, level of determination, vision for yourself and body requirement. The various books and websites available on this topic will help you decide on your diet and exercise regime. Just stick to it once started or rather, start something that you can continue.

Nutrition -> Strength -> Flexibility

Having said about Nutrition and Strength, I would like to discuss about Flexibility.
What is Flexibility?
The ability to adjust with the situation.

Why is it important?
Have you ever seen a stick breaking? Yeah, many times perhaps.
Have you ever seen a rope breaking ? Not really, isn't it, unless you specially make some effort to get a scissor and cut the rope. Ropes don't break under pressure because they know how to bend and roll and adjust under pressue. So we say, ropes are flexible , a stick is not. For those who could not understad the analogy, read on and you will understand.

How many types of flexibility are there?
Broadly two types - Mental and physical.

Mental Flexibility :- The ability to bend your mind as per the the circumstantial demands.
This helps us to handle not just tough situations but tough people, tough work and almost everything. A simple example is tackling the generation gap or the aging process which all of us have to face.

A mentally rigid man finds it difficult to survive through the aging. He finds it difficult to understand that his youth is gone and he is slowly becoming dependent on someone for each and everything. His ego is hurt and his life becomes tough. So is the case with a mentally rigid father to see his daughter adapting to the demands of the new generation which he himself can't adapt to.

On the other hand, think of a person with a flexible mindset. He smoothly undergoes all ups and downs of life without getting himself hurt or tensed.

Physical Flexibility :- This is very similar to the mental flexibility. We can say, its the ability to bend your body as per the circumstantial demands. This helps us to handle tough physical conditions. When your body is under pressure ( it may be an accidental trauma, a physical fight with somebody, your bodystuck in a not so comfortable position, general body pain like shoulder or knee or waist due to excess work or sudden bending or any other motion), the flexibility of your body determines how well you can undergo the situation.
A not so flexible person will end up hurting himself more or developing a permanent body pain whereas a flexible person will tackle it without hurting himself or damaging any tissue.

How do we make our body flexible?

The ancient Indian Yogasanas are a very good way of making the body flexibility.
There are some exercises which help stretch your body muscles and in turn relax them.
Some of the easy asanas are Padmasan, matsasan, bhujangasan, dhanurasan, padahastasan etc.
There are various websites that would give details of these asanas but one important thing I would like to mention here is that Yogasan should be done under the vigilance of someone expert in Yoga. They are dangerous if done incorrectly.

There are some simple stretches as well which one can find in one of Jane Fonda's CDs or any physical trainer program. People generally workout hard to lose wait but forget the stretch part. This not only leaves your body more prone to injuries but also is harmful for the strained muscle tissues.

So next time you work out, make sure that the workout is followed by an extensive stretching program to maintain a natural balance of stress and relaxation in the body muscles.

Nutrition -> Strength

In my last post I discussed a few things about nutrition.
After nutrition, its strength that we need to seriously look into.

Ok, you might prefer staying a weak, delicate darling throughout your life but mind you, it’s not always feasible to get a helping hand whenever or wherever you need. All of us should try to be self-dependent. Self-dependence not only means economic or financial independence but also physical and emotional independence. Now that does not really mean becoming as strong as Tarzan, physically and as indifferent as the Himalayan sages, emotionally.

All I mean to say that one should be strong enough to sustain small injuries, reduce chances of serious injuries by having strong bones and muscles, be able to carry your own baggage to some extent so that you don't always have to depend on someone to do you a favour. Well, I don't really need to justify myself for stating the importance of being strong. Health and strength go hand in hand to some extent of course.

Let me share some of the tips that would help you to become strong.

Strength:
What is strength?
Now the answer to that question may vary from person to person and the way you want to gain strength depends very much on how you interprete the word 'strength'.

For me, strength is of various types:
Physical strength: The ability to protect the body from major injuries even when the body is exposed to traumatic experiences (strong bones). The ability to carry weights for longer duration (strong muscles). The ability to fight common diseases (Immunity). The ability to carry on with a tiring (physically) work for a longer duration (stamina).

Mental or spiritual strength: The ability to control reactions to emotions like shock, surprise, joy, sorrow, anger, fear, love, hatred etc. The ability to face and live through tough times with a smiling face. The ability to bear insults and criticism without any kind of emotional highs and being able to give it back to the right person at the right time without getting angry yourself or without that dangerous feeling of vengeance but with peace of mind and soul. Being able to forgive and forget bad times and bad memories and being happy and positive at all times irrespective of place, person, time, destiny, situation or any other thing.

Physical strength:
Strong Bones:
That comes from the kind of physical training and diet given to the defence guys.
For normal people like us, some preliminary exercises that involves all possible movements of joints, some jogging, some shoulder rolls etc with sufficient intake of calcium, phosphorous and vitamin D is good enough. So drink an lot of milk and let your skin produce some Vitamin D by exposing it to the morning sun.

Strong muscles:
Again the defence training and diet is the ideal one to be followed but a more customised approach would be to exercise the muscles with weights. Start with lighter weights and increase the weight only when you are comfortable with the lighter ones. Start with 5 minutes of weight exercises and you can increase upto 40 minutes depending upon the level of comfort and alternating the weights with some cardio (aerobics) intermittently. Protien intake is good for muscles, hair and nails. But be careful of taking too much protien especially at age beyond 30-35.
Young boys and girls need a lot of protein as their bosy is in the grwing stage but once the body is fully mature, the protien need of the body reduces except for expectant mothers for whom the unborn in the womb has high protein demands.

Immunity:
Now that comes mainly from diet and lifestyle. Sufficient intake of all kinds of vitamins and minerals help us fight diseases. Also exposing the body to oxygen rich air, greenery and the morning sun help us keep fit and immune to diseases. Regular swimming is a good way of keeping the common cold at bay. Some basic cleanliness in the house and outside is also very essential. For example, carrying a hankerchief to avoid breathing the contaminated air at polluted places or when someone sneezes near you helps to avoid breathing in the common cold virus, clean sanitation and eating habbits help us fight diseases like diarrhoea, amoebiasis, jaundice etc. Clean curroundings help fight malaria, dengue etc. So these are some basic things to be followed. Again being over-protective about the body at times makes it less immune to diseases. For example, if someone has always taken boiled water would instantly fall sick if he ever has to drink simply chlorinated and filtered water. But someone whose bosy is accustomed to that would not have any problems. So here judgement has to be made by each individual on what kind of habbits he wants to cultivate and stick to all his life.

Another good way of protecting the body from some of the very common diseases like common cold, high blood pressure, stress, insomnia etc is to do pranayams or breathing exercises. There are many books and websites available that describe some of the very effective pranayams. But one should make sure to practise them correctly. Just a quick tip : Deep and slow breathing in open and fresh air ( surrounded by greenery) help release stress and rejuvinates the mind.

Stamina:
This is the aspect of strength that determines how long you can sustain yourself in a not so comfortable (referring to physical comfort) environment. Stamina has to be built with regular practice over a period of time. And as your stamina builds up, you can feel the difference.
First day you walk for 20 minutes and you are tired. In a week's time (if you walk regularly), you would comfortable walking for 40 minutes. That's called stamina. Same applyies to jogging or skipping or swimming or aerobics or any other form of physical activity.

So that's roughly all about physical strength.

Mental or spiritual strength is 80% congenital and 20% self developed.
Most of those who have the traits I mentioned while describing spiritual strength are born with those divine traits. The rest like us need to inculcate them in our nature consciously by practising them. Easier said than done, but not impossible. Meditation and some forms of self denial helps, I have heard so. Self denial can be done, only when you learn to stop loving yourself. Or can I say, stop feeling proud about yourself. That's when you learn to kill your ego which is the prime cause of emotional or spiritual weakness. Now again, you need to be sure you are killing your ego and not your confidence. It is almost like an art that needs to be practised hard. I need to try the same, so let us try together and meanwhile whoever comes up first with some technique, if any, can post it here. Else good luck to all, including me.

That's all for this time. Shall continue with Flexibility in my next post.
Till then, be strong, be bold, and be beautiful.

Nutrition

Ok, so I just thought of sharing some of the healthy ways of burning calories and maintaining a fit body. The first question is, do you really want to lose weight or do you want to be fit and fine?
Yes, that's a very important question because that determines your complete lifestyle.

Well, the techniques that I point out here are the ways to be fit and fine and not necessarily to lose weight. But I am sure if one follows these techniques, you won't feel the need to consciously lose weight anymore because, these will automatically take care of the weight losing requirement.

There are few important things to remember when it comes to a healthy lifestyle :
1) Nutrition
2) Strength
3) Flexibility
4) Calories
5) Basic Organ functionality

If one can take care of the above aspects, he/she is less likely to be unfit.

I shall start with Nutrition and keep on posting blogs on each of the above 5 topics as and when I get time.

Nutrition: This comes from our diet. Everyone knows what a balanced diet consists of and for those who don't know, there are plenty of books in the market and number of websites to browse to get the information. But there are a few things that I would like to mention here:
"Eat less to lose weight....Starve yourself so that the body fat melts to provide glucose to the hypoglycemic body"......These things are easier said than done. And following such advices( In case you have the determination to follow) only leads to multiple health hazards.

So what is that you can do about it. Here it is :

1) Eat a glass of water 1 hour before your meal followed by a lot of salad ( 40% Cucumber, Rest 60% Tomato+Onions+Cabbage+Carrot+Raddish+Beet+...) about 15-30 mins before you take your meal. You will notice the loss of appetite that you would have while taking the meal. At the same time, your body will be nourished in a far better way than if you would have fed it with processed food alone during the meal.

Why 40% Cucumber?
That's because, cucumber is rich in minerals. Not only that. It is full of roughage that our body cannot digest and therefore it stays in its undigested/heavy form in the stomach for quite some time thereby reducing our appetite. Thirdly, once it reaches the intestine, it has no other option but to increase our bowells thereby helping in the excretion process.

2) Milk is a must for a healthy diet. I won't say milk products because unless you are ready to work out a lot, milk products like thick curd, butter, ghee etc are not for you. But milk in its raw form (only boiled, without sugar, without any of the health drinks, without tea leaves or coffee beans) surely is an important ingredient of one's daily diet and is a must have irrespective of its calorie or fat content.

Why milk?
Milk is one of the two complete foods.
What is meant by a complete food?
A natural food item that has all the possible nutrients. Milk has carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, minerals and everything except Vitamin C and Iron.
If Milk is one of the two complete foods, what is the other complete food?
Well, that's what I shall discuss next.

3) Egg is the only other complete food that has all nutrients(Including Iron) except Vitamin C.
But yes, for those who are very particular about calories and cholesterol and those who don't believe in working out hard, egg intake should be less ( 2 eggs a week). For those who are are fit and exercise regularly, an egg a day is a healthy practice. For those who are trying to lose weight and also work out hard, an egg every alternate day or every 2 days is a good dietary habbit.

4) Fish is the king of all non-vegetarian dishes.
If you are a non-vegetarian, try to have more of fishes, slightly less chicken and completely avoid red meat. Fishes are rich in protien and some essential fatty acids like omega-3 fatty acids. Moreover, fishes do not have those harmful saturated fats that other non-veg products have. Atleast twice a week, fish and once a week chicken ( if chicken is not avoidable completely) is a healthy practice. All vegetarian people should compensate this loss by more of pulses intake.

5) Avoid white, have a colourful life with naturally available coloured food items.
Well, God has his own ways of colouring the world. He has his ways of painting good things beautiful and leaving the not so good things bland. So when you see a purple grape, an orange orange, a pink strawberry, a yellow papaya, a green spinach, a brown bread, or a red apple, a red carrot, a maroon beet, a pink raddish, go for it rather than the white rice grains or the white bread or the white potato.

Enough for the day.I shall continue some other time.
Till then, have a nutritious diet.

Essence of Silence

Silence...

Shh... Let the noise die out
Let the beauty sprout
Let the music be heard
Let silence b uttered...

The most beautiful words are the ones left unspoken;
The most beautiful emotion is tacit;
The most beautiful thought is nothing but a love token
For the one, you could die but not part with.

Silence is approval, silence is denial,
Silence is love, silence is betrayal,
Silent are the tears, silent is a smile,
Silent are the views spread over a mile.

Silent are the prayers that are answered in the Eden,
Silent are the rages of the angels in the heaven,
Mercy is silent and so is vengeance
No word can express mind, as can silence.

Words are misjudged,
Expressions are neglected,
But has ever been the silence
Of the young bride misinterpreted?

Shrieks go unheard,
Moans are ridiculed;
Has the silent drop trickling down the mother's eye
Been ever misunderstood?

Laughters lose their glamour,
Parties become monotonous;
But the smile of the father after his first-born arrives,
Shall always remain gorgeous.

When the chill of death passes through the spine,
When the silence's heard clear, the call of the divine,
When the blanket, so dark, so warm, is spread
To wrap us up in the silence of death,

It is then that silence is truely valued
And given the respect it has always deserved;
The aura of silence is then understood,
For death is silent and so is birth.


---Aparajita Banerjee
---Dt: 16th Jan 2008

Inspiration for Blogging

I have been writing literary pieces since my childhood, poems, stories , articles etc.
But Blogging is very new to me.

For starting something new, the first thing you need is inspiration.
Stragely I got inspired to blog by a guy who's 4-5 yrs junior to me. He'sRohit. A guy with wonderful writing skills.

I read his blogs and then today suddenly I thought of posting some of my pieces of literary works in this blog.

I shall keep posting as and when I get time.
Let's see how things shape up.

The Candlestands

It was the middle of the night during the mid of December. The whole of Agra Railway station was quietly covered by a blanket of white fog. The huge yellow lights looked hazy from a distance. They looked as old as the Agra station itself, as if they have witnessed everything that has happened in this station over all these years. They looked tired and worn out watching and hearing people from countries all over the world coming here and discussing the Taj, admiring its beauty. And not only the Taj, but many other aspects of this city, its people and their lives.

I kept gazing at those huge lights with my half slept eyes and wondered what all they might have witnessed over all the years of their existence...

Just then I saw a lame station vendor selling wooden candle stands walking past the platform with his support stick.
I wondered why was he trying to sell candle stands at the middle of the night. Who would get up from sleep and buy one now?
The young man sitting beside me might also be pondering over the same question. He was a well-dressed man with a briefcase as his only belonging. He looked well off. His eagerness about the vendor must have been much more than mine. I could say so because in a few minutes, I noticed this young man moving towards the vendor.

I could hear the young man and the vendor talk very clearly as the station was extremely silent.
"Why are you selling candle stands at this time? Who is there to buy? The only probable customers you have now are the beggars sleeping on the platform and half slept passengers waiting for their trains to arrive.", asked the young man.

On this the vendor was silent for some time and then probably wiped off something from his cheeks with one hand while balancing his basket on his head with the other. I assumed it to be a drop of tear. After this pause of silence, the vendor said, "Hukum, I make these wooden candle stands with my own hands and sell them in the station. For last few days, I did not get a single customer and I have been coming and going to the station in vain. My house is about 12 kms from this station and I need to take a six seater to that place. My wife passed away a few months back leaving behind a 5 yrs old daughter.

Today while coming to this place I have exhausted my last penny and now I have no money to go back home. My daughter is alone in the house waiting for my arrival. I have to go back. I am still trying my luck at this time of the night with the hope that at least one candle stand will be sold and I will at least get the money to go back home. My expenditure on each of these candle stands is more that eight rupees. I usually sell them for ten rupees each. But now I am ready to sell for five rupees. I need five rupees to pay for the six seater."

The young man seemed touched by the agony of this lame vendor. He put his hand in his back pocket and took out a ten-rupee note from his wallet. As he offered the money to the vendor, the vendor shivered with anger and pain. He cried aloud saying, "Hukum, I might be poor and needy but as long as I am alive and my two hands and one leg is working, I can't accept free money. If you really want to help me then please accept two candle stands in return for this money."

The young man smiled and asked him how many candle stands he had in his basket. Upon getting to know that he had a hundred candle stands with him, the young man opened his wallet for the second time and offered him two five hundred rupee notes in return for the hundred candle stands.

The lame vendor was almost into tears and I could only hear his voice tremble in an attempt to speak up, but no words came out. His silence spoke for him and his feeling of gratitude towards this young affluent man. The young man gave a gentle pat on the vendor's back with a feeling of self satisfaction and respect for this poor man who was struggling so hard to bring up his only daughter in a country where often daughters are sold for money among this class of people for whom mere survival is a challenge.

Having seen this entire episode in front of my eyes, I realized that the world is not a bad place to live in after all. There are still good, generous people around who not always do things for self interests and self pleasure. I was really touched by the gesture of the young man. I wondered how two entirely different worlds co-exist in our country. On one hand there are people who never mind spending huge money for big brands and show offs. On the other hand, there are people like this poor father who struggle every moment to feed themselves and their families. Thanks to the few human souls like this young man who try to bridge the gap to some extent at least. I was so impressed by this young man that I wanted to meet and greet him in person but just then a train came in whistling loud. So loud that the sound pierced through my ears and exploded before my eyes creating a white fume in which the old vendor, the young man and their story altogether vanished. I opened my eyes only to see the huge yellow light of the station and my train whistling loud in the platform. I was finally awake. I rushed to board my train and took my seat beside a window. As the train whistled for the last time before departure, my eyes kept rolling over the entire platform searching for the lame vendor and the young man. But all I could see were the rushing passengers and some sleeping beggars wrapped in their blankets in the cold winter night.

As the train departed, I kept staring at the huge yellow lights of the Agra railway station. Flashes of what I went through kept hovering around my mind. The episode that I saw might be a dream but I wondered how many such episodes might these yellow lights have witnessed or if they have ever witnessed anything like that. With these thoughts I slowly lied down on my railway birth and closed my eyes. As my body was swinging with the motion of the train, I could again see the lame vendor and the young man laughing at me. I wanted to ask them why they were laughing but before I could do so, they again disappeared somewhere in the horizon and I kept swinging with the motion of the train.

The Debt

As Nayanika woke up in the morning, she knew it was her last day in her house. She was only 16. Nayanika was a mild and polite girl. She was of average height and had a round face. She was slim, ofcourse not like what slim means for a Hollywood actress but slim as per middle class Indian standards. She was fair and beautiful. Her long, jet-black hair contrasted well with her light complexion and her big, dark eyes did justice to her name, 'Nayanika'.

But today she was looking dull. A month long depression had wiped off the glaze from her skin. Her face bore marks of tears that had trickled down her cheeks and wetted her pillow yesterday night. The dark circles beneath her beautiful eyes spoke for her month long insomnia. Today was the day that she feared for the whole of last month. All these days she wished this day would not come. But her silent prayers went unheard and the day had finally arrived. She knew her life wont be the same anymore. She would cease to be that little girl who played around the garden, plucking flowers and chasing butterflies. She knew she would have to forget everything that has been an integral part of her life all these years. The veranda where her mother used to dry pickles and scolded her when she picked up raw mango pieces from it before the pickle was actually made, the garden where her father used to take her for a walk every evening and taught her the names of all the flowers and fruits available, the lane through which she would accompany her younger brother every morning to catch the school bus, the house where she was born and brought up, her parents without whom she would not even think to live, her brother who has been her best friend and her soulmate all these years and all that she was a part of , had to be forgotten.

She gradually got down from her bed and went to the bathroom to wash her face. As she lifted her face and saw herself in the mirror on the wall, she cried aloud and her tears camouflaged with the water on her wet face. Her cry collided with the bathroom walls and failed to pierce through it. She alone knew that she was crying and her only companion was her mirror image.

Standing in the bathroom, her thoughts went back to the days before all this had started.

It was a bright sunny day. She was helping her younger brother to get ready for school. Their mother was busy in the kitchen preparing their breakfast. All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door. She ran towards the door and opened it. An ugly looking pot bellied middle-aged man was standing at the door. He tried to push against Nayanika with his nasty intentions, which Nayanika could very clearly comprehend. She rushed inside and informed her father that somebody was there to meet him. Her father greeted the man with a gesture so polite as if he owed something to this stranger. Nayanika was least bothered and she went to the kitchen to fill the tiffin box for her brother. Suddenly she overheard the ugly stranger and her father discussing something about her. She quitely ran to the room adjacent to the one in which his father and the other man were talking. She stuck to the wall with her right ear facing the wall and tried her best to overhear the discussion going on.

"No, I can't do that. It's impossible. She's my daughter", said her father. "Then what is possible for you my dear friend? Can you return the fifty lakh rupees that you owe me? I am only providing you with an alternate solution. Think twice before refusing the offer." shouted the ugly man in an authoritative voice. Her father replied, "I will give you this house and everything I have. I understand that even all my property wont make fifty lakhs but you know when I had borrowed the money I was only trying to save my daughter's life from that dreaded illness. Your father had said that I could return the money whenever I want as my daughter is his daughter and she should be saved. Please give me some more years and once my son grows up and starts earning, we will return your money." "By that time the amount would become more than a crore and then you will ask me to wait for your grandson to grow up and before that happens I would die. My father has passed away and I don't care what he promised to you. I want the money right now or marry off your daughter to me in a month's time. If you fail to do this, you and your family will face the consequences. And most importantly your daughter for whom you are doing all these will suffer the most. You decide what you want and let me know by today evening.” commanded the ugly stranger in his ugly voice and left the house.

Now she almost knew what was about to come. She knew which way her destiny was to take her and yet she hoped that some miracle would happen and she would be saved. She saw her father heading the kitchen and talking to her mother. She heard her mother's shrieks. She saw what she had never ever seen in all these years. She saw her father's tears. That was enough. Being a girl of a lower middle class family, she knew what the situation demanded from her. She knew she had to move ahead and help her father decide upon her doom because her sacrifice was the only way to save this family, her father, her mother and her little brother.

She went into the kitchen. Upon seeing her, her father quickly wiped his tears and her mother turned around to face the gas stove as if cooking something. They tried to pretend as if nothing had happenned. She firmly said, "I will marry that man."
The decision was not easy and she knew the consequences. Her parents were dumbstruck. They could not believe their ears.
They did not know what to do. But the decision had to be made fast. And finally after not much of discussion or debate the decision was made. The same week all arrangements for the ceremony were made quitely. And the ugly middle-aged groom had given a month's time to the family to prepare for their daughter's farewell. It was decided that in a month's time she will board the train and upon reaching the groom's village, he will receive her following which the wedding would happen and he will return all documents that held the proof of the debt on the wedding day. He also specified that the girl should come alone.
No body knew why and they did not dare to ask why.

Today was the day when she was supposed to board the train. Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, she tried to control her tears because she knew what her parents were already going through. She did not want to add on to their misery with her crying face and wet eyes. She knew which way her destiny was taking her and yet she wondered what fate had in store for her. She had surrendered herself to her fate. She walked out of her room. All her belongings were already packed.
She went around the house for one last time. The garden, the verandah, the lane, the wall clock, all looked so precious and different today. She picked her belonging and headed towards the main gate where her father, mother and brother were waiting for her. There was a silence as cold as death in everyone's face. No one uttered a word. Her mother rushed into the house and never came out again. Nayanika knew she was crying and she could not bear this site of her daughter stepping into hell. Her father did not face her. His lowered face revealed his feeling of guilt for being an unsuccessful father. Her brother was young and yet mature enough to understand what crisis their family was going through. Nayanika touched her father's feet and the silence was broken with her father's uncontrolled burst of tears while saying," Don't touch my feet, Nayana. I have failed you as a father. I am a criminal who should be punished but you are being punished for my mistakes. Never forgive me Nayana, never ever forgive me.". By hearing her father call her by the name 'Nayana', some good old times flashed past her memory when her father used to take her into the gardens and tell her pointing towards the rose, " See Nayana, this is the most beautiful flower in the whole world. A flower that symbolizes love. Its called Rose." Upon which she inquired with her innocent eyes, "Why does it symbolize love, father" and her father would just shake his shoulder in ignorance. For all that love that her father had bestowed upon her all these years, she would love to do this small sacrifice. She said, " I am proud of you father. And I know why you had borrowed this money. I know how much you love me and what pains you have gone through all these years to bring me up. I wish to have you as my father in all my rebirths. I love you father, I love you."

With this she took her first step out of the gate. Her brother accompanied her through the same lane through which she used to accompany him to the school bus. Their house was very close to the station and she wanted to be alone while boarding the train so she asked her brother to leave. Soon the train arrived and she boarded it. By this time, she was almost a soul less body devoid of all emotions. She watched herself being carried farther and farther away from the station by the train untill when she lost sight of the station, her village and her past.

It was a few hours journey and she didn't even realise when she had reached her destination. She boarded off the train and put her first step forward into her new village, new life. But the station was empty. There was hardly anyone except the stationmaster and very few passengers. She was expecting her to be groom there but he was not to be seen in the vicinity.

She had the address of his house. So she took a rickshaw and headed towards his house. She reached the house and found that he was a pretty affluent man. His house was a magnificient bunglow beautifully decorated with expensive interiors.
Upon knocking on the door, an old man opened the door and stared at her with inquiring eyes. She said, " I am Nayanika. Where is the owner of the house?” The old man smiled and went inside without uttering a single word. He brought an envelope addressed to Nayanika and said, "Malik asked me to give this to you whenever you come.". She opened the envelope and found all the documents that contained details of the money that her father had borrowed. She was surprised to see that and asked, "Where is your Malik?" The old man said, "Malik passed away last week. He was not well for few days and he knew he wouldn’t live long. So he handed over this envelope to me one night and the next day morning when I tried to wake him up for the bed tea, I realised he was no more." With this the old man broke down into tears.

Nayanika didn't know whether she should be happy or sad. All of a sudden she felt too light to sustain herslf. She could not believe what was happenning. She thanked the old man for the envelope and took a rickshaw back to the station. Now she knew what fate had in store for her. But she never wanted the death of a man to pay for her freedom. If she would have known that the price for her freedom is someone’s life, she would have preferred being devoid of her freedom for the rest of her life. In a way she felt guilty for what had happened. Her state of mind now was a perfect amalgam of guilt and joy, of anxiety and pleasure, of agony and delight, and yet she was excited to go back home. She recollected the lowered face of her father and immediately all her doubts vanished way. She knew what she had to do. She knew that the miracle that she was hoping for, had actually happened, that she was living the miracle. At once she decided to rush back to her village and share the news with her father. She knew how relieved her father would be to see her.
It would be a real surprise for her family. Now she wanted to reach her home as soon as possible. She didn’t want her father to cry anymore with a guilt feeling. She didn’t want her mother to shed any more tears. She wanted to fill the vacuum created in her brother’s life due to her absence at the earliest. A lot of time was already wasted and her family had been through a very tough time the whole of last month. Now the bad times were over, though it cost a human life.
The tear swollen eyes of her father, the painful shrieks of her mother, the innocent face of her brother whose silence revealed the hidden moan, was much more than what Nayanika could handle and here lay before her was a chance to wipe out all the woes that her family went through. Now she was happy. Yes, now she didn’t have any confusion and she was certain that she deserved to be happy.

She reached the station and boarded the train that would take her back to her village.
The faster the train moved, the more she felt that that she is getting delayed. She wanted to reach home soon. She wanted to hug her father and tell him that she is back, that he is no more indebted to anyone. She kept counting minutes and seconds. Her excitement knew no bounds.
As the distance between her and her villege decreased, the restlessness in her heart and mind increased. Finally, she was there. Yes, she reached her village. She pushed all other passengers, as she wanted to get down fast. She was the first passenger to get down from the train. She almost danced back her way to her home. And now the main gate of her house was there right before her eyes. She ran faster and faster and with every step she celebrated her freedom by humming a song and dancing to the tune.

She opened the gate and shouted aloud, “I am back, father. I am back. See what I have brought for you.” She expected her father to rush to the gate and hug her tight. But nothing happened. No one came out. The silence of the house and its vicinity spelled doom. She was scared. She slowed down her pace and moved towards her house apprehensively. She expected to see her mother’s arms outstretched in anticipation after hearing her voice echoing in that house again. But where was everyone? She stepped into the house and what she saw was beyond imagination for her. She would have never returned home if she had the slightest idea of what was awaiting her here. No, this can’t be true. She pinched herself to make sure that this wasn’t a
nightmare. She could not believe, God can be so merciless. How could fate play her for such a big fool? Is she being tested, but tested for what? She fell down on her knees semi conscious. Her eyes were dry. Not a drop of tear trickled down. No, she wouldn’t cry, not this time, not again, never again. She had already gone through too much for her age. Now this she could not take. She had gone through extremes of all types of emotions in a single day. And this was the last. She decided, voluntarily or involuntarily, to lose all senses that speak emotion. She wanted to be free of all feelings. And yes, this time her prayers were heard and answered. She stood up and danced there humming a tune and laughed aloud. She was out of this world now. She had lost her sanity. She spoke something to her father in a language that perhaps even she doesn’t know and right there beside her feet, the cold body of her father was lying, with a mark of string tightening across the neck. His dead eyes were wide open as if trying to confess his guilt before his insane daughter, seeking her forgiveness.