The sun was about to set. The weather was calm and serene. The reddish blue dusk sky carved a picturesque image on the canvas of nature.
Gopi was smiling today probably after years. He did not get a call from the King's men today. He did have a loss of a few anas but that was better than what he went through each day he was called for by the king's men.
He faced a lot of questions about his profession in the intial years. Many looked down upon him with hatred, fear and rage in their eyes, yet others were inquisitive about his experience while he performed his job He looked straight into their eyes emotionlessly and they knew they had asked the wrong questions. The entire village ostracized him and slowly he shifted with his family of three to the outskirts of the village where the dead bodies were burnt. He, his wife Uma and their son Jogi lived in a small hut there.
With time, they forgot all insulting comments and humiliating looks. But Gopi still could not find peace. His profession did not allow him to. Every time a dead body was brought to the burial ground and he heard the shrieks of the wailing widows, the cry of the orphaned children he could feel the cramps in his stomach. He wanted to run away and hide somewhere to avoid the relatives of the dead. He wished he did not exist. He wished he didn’t have a family. He wished he had a different profession. He wished he were not born in the family of the hangman.
Today, Gopi’s family is no longer a family of three. Uma passed away soon after they shifted to the village outskirts. Gopi cried aloud but there was none by his side to comfort him. He dragged Uma’s body close to the river, burnt it and threw away the ashes. Jogi was too young to understand what had happenned. He kept asking his father, why his mother was sleeping for so long, when would she get up. When Gopi was dragging Uma’s body, Jogi kept crying as he thought his mother would be injured by his father’s actions. Gopi could not manage his tears, Jogi’s innocent queries and Uma’s body simultaneously. He tied Jogi with a rope to a chair at home and went on with the process. Jogi had often asked since that fateful day about his mother but Gopi never answered. Now Jogi is 9 years old and he has probably realized with time that his mother shall never come back again. He doesn’t ask Gopi anymore. For Jogi, Gopi is his world, his only world.
Seeing his father in a good mood today, Jogi came close to Gopi and stood very close to him. He wanted to be cuddled, to be pampered. Gopi understood that and pulled him even closer and kissed his cheek. He caressed him and asked, “ Do you love your Baba?”. Jogi spread his small hands wide as much as he could and replied, “ I love you theeeeeeeeees much.” Hearing this, Gopi was almost into tears and his watery eyes reminded him of the days when his own father Gokul used to take him on his lap and caressed him. The past flashed before his eyes, so clear, so vivid as if it were just the other day when he lived with his father and like any other son, believed his father to be a Hero.
Gokul was a rickshaw puller and had a modest income. Gokul, his wife and Gopi lived happily with whatever little they had. Gopi had lots of friends in the village with whom he used to play and chat and roam around in the village fields. Gopi’s mother always used to be very weak and prone to diseases. She often complained about some stomach ache but it got ignored in their daily struggle for existance. On one fateful day, Gopi’s mother couldn’t get up from bed. Her stomach ache was too much for her to bear. Gokul rushed to the village
vaid and sought his advise. The
vaid was not of much help and he suggested Gokul to take her to the nearest town for some expert advice. Gokul lifted his wife, put her on the rickshaw and cycled it all the way to the town.
He could not see his wife crying her heart out because of pain. They reached the town
chikitsalaya and spoke to the
vaid there. He was a busy man and charged a huge fee for treating patients. Gokul could not afford that kind of money. His only possession was his Rickshaw. He mortgaged the same to the
vaid and asked him to treat his wife. The
vaid did take a look but as his attempts to save Gokul’s wife seemed half-hearted to Gokul. He could not save Gokul's wife. It was anyway too late for any treatment. And poor people never get the kind of attention that rich people can buy.
Gokul didn’t know what to do. He had lost his wife and his only means of bringing up his son, his Rickshaw. He was scared to take his wife’s deadbody to his village as he couldn’t imagine how his son would react. He decided to stay back in the town that night, complete the cremation procedure and return home. He did as decided and started for his village the next day. The closer he went to his village, the more worried he became. He thought of hundreds of excuses to convince Gopi about his mother’s whereabouts. But he himself was not convinced with any of them. He was also worried about how to run his family and feed his child since he did not have any source of income. His rickshaw was mortgaged and he had to earn sufficient money to free it. But how would he earn money?
He was tired and exhausted. He somehow managed to drag his feet forward and finally reached home, washed his hands and feet, put on the lamp and lied down on his cot. Gopi came running inquiring about his mother. Gokul was nervous, scared and tensed. His voice choked and he couldn’t speak. The innocent questions of Gopi were too delicate to be given an answer that was so devastating as the truth. Gokul had no option but to lie. He said, his mother was treated successfully by the
vaid and is now fine. She wanted to visit somebody in the town and so Gokul came back alone and his mother would return soon. Hearing this Gopi was little relieved but sad and angry with his father. He kept complaining about why he left his ill mother alone in town and did not bring her back with him. Gokul gave many explanations but Gopi was not satisfied. The next day when his mother didn’t return, Gopi asked his father to go to the town and get her back. He was afraid that his mother would not be able to return alone. Meanwhile, Gokul was desperately in search of a job.
One day, he heard that the village hangman had passed away and there was none to do his job. Nobody wanted to do as lowly and ruthless a job as hanging someone. Gokul didn’t think twice and went to the King’s court. He volunteered for taking up this job and he was immediately appointed. As soon as this happened, the village people started looking down upon Gokul and badmouthed him. Gopi heard all that from his friends and believed that his father was no longer a good man. Days went by and Gopi’s anger towards his father kept increasing. He had always blamed his father for neglecting his mother.
As Gopi grew up, his anger towards Gokul turned into hatred. When Gopi was 14, he ran away from village without informing his father and went to a nearby town. He did a variety of jobs there, sometimes as a domestic help, sometimes in a lodge, sometimes picking up garbage. Its here, in this town, that he met Uma and fell in love. Uma was an orphan and worked as a sweeper in a lodge. They soon married. But there life was a struggle each day. They didn’t have any permanent job. They never had sufficient to eat. The expense of taking up a house in the town was too much for them. As before, they now could not sleep on the roadside or beneath a tree since they were a married couple. Gopi then decided to come back to his village. Atleast they had a house there. He had not heard about his father all this while. He still hated his father.
They started for the village one morning. As Gopi reached his village hut, he found it was vacant.
He expected his father to be there. Upon inquiring he learnt that his father was forced to leave that house and move to the village outskirts because of his profession. Gopi was sad but he still blamed his father for his mother’s loss. He wanted to meet Gokul once and looked for him at many places. He could not find any trace of Gokul.
Gopi was in search of a job. He took up some work as an assistant to a shopkeeper. The salary was too meagre but they somehow survived. A year later, Uma gave birth to Jogi. Their expense increased and it was becoming more and more difficult to manage the household. One day, a man from the King’s court came inquiring for Gokul’s son. Upon meeting Gopi, they informed that as per the village rule, the hangman’s son was supposed to carry out his father’s work after his father retired or died. Gopi was shocked to hear this. When he asked about his father, they said that Gokul had not come to work since past few years and the king’s men were looking for Gopi to carry on with the work. Since Gopi had left the village, they could not reach him. No body knew where Gokul was. Gopi was asked to report to the King the next very day. That night, Gopi and Uma had a lot of discussions. They were in severe need of money. Working for the King would provide them with sufficient money to run their family as no one prefers doing that job and whoever does, is paid sufficiently by the king. Gopi was reluctant. But Uma said that for Jogi’s sake, he should do the job. If they had sufficient money, they could send Jogi to a far off town once he grows up and he would not have to carry on with this profession. Finally, for Jogi’s sake, Gopi was convinced to take up this job. He then tried to understand his father’s situation when he took up this job and perhaps realized that his father was not so bad after all.
Today, with Jogi sitting on his lap, he remembered his father and perhaps he understands now what all Gokul might have gone through. How much Gokul must have loved him and what all sacrifices he might have made for him. His missed his father but he didn’t even know if he was still alive.
The next morning, the kingsmen called for Gopi. He went to the execution arena and performed his duty. Everytime he did this, he prayed to the Almighty to forgive his own sins and give peace to the departed soul. He never dared to look up lest he gets a glimpse of the person whom he would hang in a few moments. After the culprit was hanged, usually, all his relatives would gather and weep and take the body for cremation. But today no one was there. He felt strange and inquired some other workers there about what would happen to the body. They said they will throw it in the morgue. And unclaimed bodies were mass-burnt after 3-4 days. He further asked what this man’s crime was. The workers told him that he was a roadside old loon who had dared to pelt stones and injure the royal
vaid severely almost attempting to murder him. When he heard the
vaid’s name, he felt he had heard it before but could not recollect. He came back home and as usual was sad and unhappy about how the day had passed and wanted to sleep. He threw his arm around Jogi’s waist while sleeping and while caressing him, he kept thinking about the day’s events and about the
vaid who was attacked.
For two days, he was restless and his mind kept stressing and stretching itself to find out about how the
vaid’s name was so familiar to him. All of a sudden, he recollected that it was this
vaid to whom Gokul had carried his mother. He rushed to the morgue and inquired about the body of the man hanged 3 days back. They informed that it was already burnt since no one claimed it in 3 days. Gopi rushed like a mad man here and there inquiring about who burnt the body and where was it burnt and hundred other questions. Finally he found one man who carries the bodies to the cremation ground. And he informed that he had found a letter and a bangle in the prison drawer that belonged to one of the prisoners who was hanged recently and burnt as an unclaimed body and that no one had come so far to claim his belongings. Gopi was eager to see the letter and the bangle. The worker took him to a dark room where the possessions of the dead were kept just in case someone came to claim later. Gopi saw the bangle and burst into tears. It was his mother’s bangle.
He then read the letter which was addressed to him. Gokul had accepted his lie about his mother’s death in that letter and explained his position while seeking Gopi’s forgiveness. He wrote all the pains he had gone through when Gopi left the house and went missing. The letter revealed the entire struggle that Gokul undertook to search for his son using up all the resources that he had. Gokul had stopped attending to the kingmen’s calls and went to the nearby town and kept looking for Gopi at every street, every corner. As Gopi read the letter, his hands shook with anger over himself and his soul was shattered with guilt and repentence. Gopi had forgiven his father long back but he didn’t know how to forgive himself now. He almost lost his sanity and cried aloud. His tears knew no bounds and his life seemed to be a curse to him. He wanted to get rid of his sinful life.
He went back home holding the bangle and the letter close to his chest. Jogi was playing outside and didn’t notice when Gopi got into the house. Gopi kept reading the letter again and again and each time hating himself more and more. He searched the house for a jute rope and made a loop in it. He hung the looped rope to the ceiling and pulled a chair. He was an expert in this job. He had given such a death to many many people before. But this was the first time and ofcourse the last when he would do to himself what he had done to all those people who were hanged in the King’s arena all these years.
Just then Jogi came rushing into the house and asked what game this was and that he too wanted to play. Sudden appearance of Jogi and his innocent question shook Gopi out of the world of insanity he was in and he suddenly realized what he was going to do. He had failed to be a good son and now he was going to lose his oppurtunity to be a good father. In fact what he was upto would have ruined Jogi’s life who was still so much dependent on him. He had already done enough sin in his life by hating and punishing his own father for no reason, but no more. He now knew that he had to live, he had to smile, inspite of all the hardships in his life, inspite of his lowly profession, not for his sake but for his child, his son Jogi. His own father Gokul had sacrificed his whole life for Gopi and in return got the death of a roadside lunatic criminal who was hanged by his own son whose body was also burnt as unclaimed. But if he were to do justice to his father’s soul, he himself had to be as great a father as Gokul. He rushed towards Jogi and hugged him tight. He kissed him on his forehead, his cheeks and promised him not to try this nasty game ever again and to be a father he could always love and look up to.
